Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
