dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
