I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
