People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
