I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
