Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
