Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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