From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
