i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
