I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
