THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
