bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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