Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
