The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
