Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
