This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
