Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
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