It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
