Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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