i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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