i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
