dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i out mim tonsoeep
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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