My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
