I have demons in me.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
