I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
