someone get that fucking seahorse.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
