If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
