I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
