So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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