Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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