sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just found a bag of teeth...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
