My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think your dad took our porno
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
