he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
