"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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