You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
