You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
