I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
