Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Boobs speak an international language.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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