Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
