I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
