you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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