I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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