break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
