i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
