id be glad to
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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