i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
