I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Randomize
