im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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