He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think I died a long time ago.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
