wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
